We go into a relationship hoping that this time will be different, that it has to be better than the last. Every time it is the same; we like or even love a person, and make room for them in our lives so that they can be a part of who we are. Even though our intentions might be good, we usually end up losing a piece of ourselves, and sometimes several pieces that we might never be able to get back. Slowly, we can end up losing who we are, and what makes us the person we once were.
The way we hurt.
We put up with ideas, words, actions that we wouldn't put up with normally. If a friend were to do the same thing that the person you adore does, you probably wouldn't let it slide with the friend, but you would for the person you like just because you don't want to mess anything up. I know I have heard jokes, seen actions that I didn't like, but allowed it to slip by unmentioned because I didn't want to highlight the bad and stop liking the person, or worse, them stop liking me. That belief that you don't agree with, the comment on how you can't cook well, that slap across the face, all of this passes by "unnoticed" because you've become passive and don't want to rock the boat; it'll only happen this once, so it doesn't matter.
The things we sacrifice.
We stop being the person we are in order to fit whatever mold we think the other person will like. We give up little pieces of ourselves; change our hair, clothes, lifestyles, job opportunities, and even personalities. We stop talking to the people close to us because the significant other doesn't approve/like them, or they don't like the significant other. We cut ourselves off from people who could possibly end the romance that you've grown used to. We stop talking to friends and family, just to protect something that probably isn't healthy or won't last forever, given the fact that you've given up what brings you joy in order to fit into a less-happy mold.
The way we change.
We change by becoming quiet, depressed, angry, and any other feeling that isn't part of our normal vocabulary of emotions. Becoming a different person to please the other person is what we end up doing, but we hurt ourselves in the process. The other person is happy, but we are not, and we have become a shell of what used to be there; all that is left is a smile on the outside.
I just want to say before the end of this entry, that this doesn't always happen; relationships can be beautiful, but those are the relationships that we don't have to sacrifice who we truly are for. Relationships can be hard, and there is work involved, however, giving our own happiness for someone else's and losing ourselves is not what someone who truly loves you would, or ever should want.
Pink - Please Don't Leave Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eocCPDxKq1o
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