Forever & Always.

There are so many words in the English language, but there are certain words that have meanings that are constantly changing. We throw around words and phrases like I love you, forever, always, can't, never, I don't love you. We say these things to our friends, our family, people we almost never see, and the meanings behind these change every time we say them. While walking out of the door on his way to work, a husband can say to his wife "I love you" just out of habit, and even if he does mean it, he is not thinking of what he is really saying. While ending a relationship, someone might blurt out "I never loved you" because they are so hurt, but do they realize the power that the word never has behind it? We say these things every day, but why?

Three words, eight letters.

"I love you" is what I say to most of my friends when I'm on the phone, IMing them, or even leaving them a message on FaceBook. I do love my friends, and without them I don't know where I would be today, but sometimes saying this, has just become a habit. Saying this can mean so many different things to each person, some say it just cause the other person said it first and so they feel obligated to say it back, or they said it first and mean it with all their heart, or even that they just want to let the person know that they are special to them in some way. Hearing these words would make anyone feel wanted, and worthy, but if they had known that the person's complete feelings were not behind this statement, would the words have as much meaning?

One word, seven letters.

Forever is such a long time. Can it be counted in seconds, minutes, hours or years? Would a singular person's entire lifetime be considered forever? I saw a play last weekend where one of the pieces had dealt with this word. "She said, he said, that this would last forever." These words resonated with me then, and I'm still thinking about them now. Forever is romantic, and something that everyone should want, but it isn't something we can plan for and make happen. But even if we were to get that "forever," how long is it considered? This word is thrown around just like any other word. "I'll love you forever," "It's been forever since I've seen you!" With all these different uses, how can we even measure what forever is, and does the length change the meaning behind it?

Four words, twelve letters, one punctuation mark (excluding the period).

"I don't love you." When we say this, do we really mean it with our entire selves? Sometimes we say this jokingly, other times, people will hear it not being said as a joke, or they will be the ones saying it in such a way. This could be used to make someone laugh, or break someone's heart; it could make someone cry for days and still feel pain years later. How can four words have such an incredibly different meaning when used two different ways? This is how much meanings can change, whether you realize it or not.

One word, five letters.

"Never say never." Kind of ironic. We aren't supposed to say this, but yet we do. "I could never like someone like that." Wow, do you realize how heavy a statement that is? Never is an eternity of nothing of whatever you have refused. We use this word not realizing that once you say never, there is no turning back, because it means a definite, and infinite no. Instead, we say things like "I'll never try that food" or "I'll never take that class." We ultimately make a joke out of this word.

With all these different uses of these words, and combination thereof, we lose all sense of their meanings, except in those brief instances where we realize the full meaning behind them- but usually only for that moment. We turn words with so much importance into words that lack meaning, and sometimes end up not even having any at all. Before you say one of these things to someone, I want you to take a moment and reflect on what you're about to say. Before you say "I love you" think about what you actually mean. Are you saying I like you a lot more than I like anyone else, or are you saying that they have you with all of your heart? Before you say never think of all the future opportunities that you will be giving up, since after all, never is an awfully long time. Take the time, listen to what you are saying, and maybe you will be able to find the true definitions that these words, phrases, sentences, have to yourself.

Taylor Swift - Forever & Always

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFWUJyWYVPc&feature=channel

Too colorful to conceal.

We hide behind this mask of "perfection." What is this mask made up of? It's our clothes that we wear to hide our flaws and highlight the good parts, makeup, hairstyles, shoes, tans, diets, jokes and accessories. Why do we do this, hide what makes us different from each other, only to blend in? I thought we were supposed to stand out in the world, not get lost in it. We lose ourselves under this veil that we hide behind, and I don't know if most of us ever really find out who we are because of it. We try to fit in and be the same, even though we are not supposed to be. Those flaws that you are hiding might be that one thing someone loves about you, or that you love about yourself, but are too afraid to allow the world to see it.

Not only do we hide these pieces of us from the world, but we hide them from ourselves. I remember not ever wanting to look in the mirror, putting my clothes on so quickly that I couldn't see any of the parts of my body that weren't "normal" or attractive, but yet were, since this was when I was growing into the woman that I am supposed to be. I hid not only from the world, but from myself. I missed out on knowing myself and how I went from awkward teenager to the beautiful person I've grown to love. I remember buying makeup, which was merely eyeliner and mascara, but eventually never wanting to leave my house without it on, because I felt like it made me look better, not realizing that I already looked fine without it.

Our culture has turned to models and celebrities in order to figure out what we are supposed to look like, act like, be. These people who grace the covers and pages of magazines are "the best of the best" and "the pick of the litter." What we don't realize though, is that there will never be that person that everyone likes. While one model is gorgeous to one person, they might be hideous to the next. These people that we idolize and look up to are never perfect themselves. We watch them grow and change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. They are picked apart by the media who made them famous, take diet pills, tan, buy expensive makeup, clothes, and jewelry, hide behind their purses, have plastic surgery, take drugs, and sometimes have breakdowns. All of this is done to be accepted by the people who don't like them, sometimes resulting in the loss of the people who did to begin with. This is what we strive to be? They aren't perfect, just like people who don't make the amount of money they make, drive their cars, or live in their houses aren't perfect.

Until we realize this, we will all be hiding behind our masks that we wear everyday, all the time. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't have a mask of my own; I hide behind a hair style that makes me feel complete, and clothes that make me feel good about myself. Even though this is true, I mainly pull myself together every morning in order to feel good about myself when I look in the mirror- I want to like what I see, but as much as I say it is for myself, it is also so I can be accepted, at least somewhat, by the people around me. I hope to be able to feel so comfortable in my own skin that I don't have to spend time on my hair and worry about my clothes, be able to lay around all day and not care if anyone stops by and have to take the time to look in the mirror before I open the door. Loving ourselves is a life-long process, and because of this, we will never be completely satisfied with who we are, but we need to learn to love who we are for ourselves, and not for anyone else.

Caitlin Crosby - Imperfect is the New Perfect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fli8UpFcpQw

The way I loved you.

So, lately I've been thinking- a lot. I've been thinking about things that have happened, what could have happened, and what could still happen. These thoughts race and I come up with questions that I don't have answers to, and because of this, I don't know what to do with the questions. Do I ask my friends and family how they would answer them? Do I write them down and leave them in a journal to never be answered? Or, do I post them up for people to ponder themselves, and share their ideas. I don't know which option to pick, but I guess I've picked the third one. I'll start with just one.

What made you like and/or fall in love with that certain person? Even if you aren't with them; if you're watching them from afar, if you're holding their hand right now, or if you were with them, but aren't anymore. Was it their laugh their smile, their looks, their personality, what they were wearing, how they smelled, what they said and how they said it? I don't know if I could answer this question myself, and because of this, I never like to ask the question, but eventually I want to answer it, just like that person answered it for me.

For me, I'd like to say that the reason I noticed you wasn't just how attractive you are, (I'd like it to be a little more romantic than that) but I can't say that. However, I also can't say that it was the only thing I noticed. It was your smile, your sense of humor, the things we bonded over- even if they are odd, but these are the things I first noticed. Over time I've come to somewhat know your quirks, the way you respond to certain things, and the way you show your emotions and how wear them on your face. Do I know everything about you? No, not even close, but this is why we're all given so much time to know each other: in order to find out things about each other on our own time- there's no rush.

You told me what you liked about me, and didn't ask the question back. That's okay though, I wouldn't have known how to answer. You said you liked me for who I am, not who I'm supposed to be, and for that I'm thankful. I can finally say that someone accepts me for who I am and know that I don't have to change.

I don't know where to go from here, or what to do, which by now is probably pretty apparent. Because of this, I have these questions, but no way to answer them. I might not know everything, but I'm not afraid to admit it. I am always looking for a way to find the answers that I am searching for.

Taylor Swift - The Way I Loved You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvJubjcx2tc