The Song List: Part 1

Anyone that knows me knows that I love music. No, I can't play an instrument- I can't even read sheet music, but I love listening to it. For me, when I listen to music I like to listen to the lyrics before I listen to the actual music, and because of this it is hard for me to listen to a lot of the music that is popular at the moment. What I mean by this is that there are many of the songs that are currently played on the radio. Luckily, there are some songs that I have heard that I think are positive in lyrics and actually carry meanings with them, not just sharing how much they want to "'love' you" (as the new Enrique Iglesias song states).

What I've been thinking about for a while is starting a section of my blog talking about the songs that I have heard recently that I think share a positive message, and I want to do this because it's sad for me to say that there aren't many of them. In this section, my goal is to highlight and celebrate these songs- here is part 1 containing my own interpretations of them.

1. Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are

I picked this song because there is so much meaning behind it that it would be ridiculous for me not to. In this song, Bruno talks about a woman that he thinks is "amazing just the way [she is]". The thing that I love about this song is that throughout it, Bruno is telling the woman that he thinks she is beautiful and what he loves about her and doesn't think that she needs to change at all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk

2. Katy Perry - Firework

Finding out that there was a Katy Perry song that had real meaning in it was surprising (I'm not going to lie), but it was a very pleasant surprise. The thing about this song is that it is celebrating everyone who thinks that they weren't good enough and saying that they were. When I'm driving in my car and I hear this song, I almost get tears. The reason: because it means so much to me. It asks the question of "did you ever feel like you weren't good enough?" and then tells you that you are. This makes me feel like I mean something in the world and am not just another number in the population.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

3. P!nk - Raise Your Glass

This song is hard for me to figure out, but something about it really gets me. "Raise your glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways" is- for me, hard to explain, but there it makes me feel good. When I listen to this song, I feel like my beliefs and what I fight for is what I am supposed to be doing and makes me feel powerful. The music video definitely helps build on this feeling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjVNlG5cZyQ

4. B.O.B. feat. Hayley Williams - Airplanes

You can't help but wish that there were more stars in the sky than planes when you hear this song. Even though this song isn't really talking about anything positive, it is asking for something positive to happen. The real part that I like about this song is the chorus: "can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?" There is something beautiful yet sad about this question, but the reason for asking it is because the singer wishes for something better than what exists right now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn6-c223DUU

5. Adam Lambert - Whataya Want From Me

I really enjoy listening and singing to this song. Why? Because there is real meaning. Adam finally asks the question: what do you actually want from me? What can I do that will make you happy enough to accept me? It confronts the people that don't accept you and finally makes you ask what exactly it is that they can't accept. For me, it is stepping back and telling people that you see that they don't like something about you and are calling them out about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1Fqn9du7xo

I am aware that songs have different meanings to everyone, but these are my interpretations of these songs and how they make me feel. I hope that they make you feel as good as they make me feel.

Can't carry it with you if you want to survive.

Why did I have to go through all this to get to this point in my life? I've asked myself this question so many times, but I keep reminding myself of one thing: I wouldn't be where I am now, or who I am, without the things that I've gone through. I won't make myself a sob story, nor will I say I've had the roughest life, because I know I haven't. What I will do right now is share a little bit about my growing up and how I've gotten to the point that I have.

By the time I was in Kindergarten my parents were divorced; they fought all the time, and most of my childhood has been lost to the black-hole that is my memory, most likely lost so that I don't remember. My brothers and I would go over to my father's house every weekend, and this was usually the only time that we got to see him over the week. I remember crying every time my dad dropped me off at elementary school, without fail, and thinking how that might be the last time I would get to see him- grim I know, but it's what I feared. I grew up with yelling and fighting, a bad relationship with my mother, and then a loss of a relationship with my dad. This is my life in a nutshell.

Lately I've been asking myself why I had to go through all of this. As I said earlier, it could have been worse, but this is what I've gone through and this is what has made me who I am. Until recently I was afraid of getting married, looking at it as simply a warning to get a prenup and something that would soon end in two people splitting their assets up in a courtroom. In addition to this, I saw kids as small people that would get hurt from the breakup of their parents. At the moment, I'm indifferent to marriage and children- whatever happens, happens is my motto right now. But I've seen a certain side of these topics, and because of that it's molded my viewpoint in this way.

Even though this is how I grew up during my childhood, I've grown up in the years after elementary and middle school. After beginning to find myself, I got to make choices of my own. I ultimately chose what I would do in the day (be it a good choice or bad) and who I would end up being friends with in addition to simply who I would meet.

There was one guy that I met who told me he didn't want to be friends with me because I was ugly. There were friends that lied to me about parties that I wasn't invited to. There were people that didn't take me seriously or just pretended that I didn't ask whatever it was that I asked. There were people that told me no, and to move on. There were people who made me feel bad by making fun of me or even those that told me I didn't matter and called me names.

I am aware that those instances were bad, but there is a reason for that and it is simply because these people have made me stronger. The one who called me ugly made me realize I'm beautiful, the ones that lied showed me who my real friends were, the ones that ignored me made me be louder, the ones that told me no showed me there is more than I thought, and the ones that called me names taught me how to deflect.

The ones that have given me the hardest times are the ones that have helped me be the strongest. If it weren't for these people, if it weren't for the experiences that I have gone through, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. The person writing in this blog wouldn't be here, and these thoughts would be shared by someone else, or perhaps, wouldn't even be shared at all. Do I wish that I hadn't had to go through some of the things that I have, seen some of the things I've seen, or know those that have hurt me? Yes, I can't sit here being honest and lie about that, but I can honestly say that, at the same time, I'm happy to have been put through these things. I wouldn't be the person that I am, I wouldn't be where I am, and I wouldn't have the dreams, the wants, or the will to do things that I have now. I wouldn't have the fight in me, the strength, or the beliefs that I have today without all of these experiences.

I remind myself every day that I am happy for what I've gone through, no matter how bad it was, is, or will get because I know one thing: that without these experiences I wouldn't be the person that I have come to love, nor would I be as proud of myself as I am sitting here now, as you read this.

Glee Cast - Dog Days Are Over (Glee Version)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxLgE2UEWPc&feature=related

Cover yourself with makeup in the mirror.

In my previous post, I mentioned that I was in a Sociology class that focuses on Social Work. A few weeks ago, each student was assigned to write a paper about a social welfare issue that interested us. After writing the paper, we would present our topic to the class; one of the students in my class wrote about domestic violence. This is major issue that effects more people than we realize, both women AND men. I just wanted to share the poem that this student read at the beginning of her presentation, since I had read it a few years ago and I realized that when I had heard it again, it still left a huge impact on me.

"I Got Flowers Today"

I got flowers today.

It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.

We had our first argument last night,

And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.

I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.

It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.

Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.

It seemed like a nightmare.

I couldn't believe it was real.

I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.

I know he must be sorry.

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today,

and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.

Last night, he beat me up again.

And it was much worse than all the other times.

If I leave him, what will I do?

How will I take care of my kids?

What about money?

I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.

But I know he must be sorry.

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.

Today was a very special day.

It was the day of my funeral.

Last night, he finally killed me.

He beat me to death.

If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,

I would not have gotten flowers... today.

By Paulette Kelly

Although October is supposed to be Domestic Violence Awareness month, I don't think that it should stop there. If you know someone or see someone being abused in any way including psychically, emotionally, or sexually please help stop it from continuing. We need to be there for each other, not hurt one another nor allow it to happen.

Red Jumpsuit Aparatus - Face Down

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ux6SlOE9Qk&ob=av2e

It can change your life and it never even slows down.

I started out college with one goal in mind: get a degree in Psychology, figure out something to do with it, but make sure that the final outcome is something that I can help people in. For me, life isn't about making the most money or being the most well-known woman in the world, rather, it is to help people. After all these years of trying to figure out what I really want to do, I believe that I have figured it out.

This quarter I signed up for a Sociology class not really thinking about it. Since sociology is one of my minors, I had two more classes to fulfill before I was done, and this was one of them. The class I am talking about deals with the topic of Social Work, and overall, I couldn't be happier with my decision to take it. Throughout this quarter, I have learned more about the social work profession, and I realized that this is what I want to do with my life. I have always wanted to help people in their lives, and I hope that this is the way that I can really achieve this goal.

One of the class meetings that really made me realize that this was what I wanted to do was when we watched the episode from Oprah that focused on a program called "Challenge Day." Challenge Day is a program that promotes growth and creates bonds by having people that are diverse come together and share their stories, beliefs, and hardships with one another through group activities. On this specific day, the program visited a high school where there is a lot of racism and issues that students deal with that were never handled properly, and in some cases, not handled at all. Watching these students tell their stories, cry on each others' shoulders, and ask for help made me want to do the same thing, anything, to change the emotions that were being projected onto the screen. I realized in those moments, that this was what I wanted to do: to go to youth and help them realize that they are not alone with their struggles, and that they don't have to feel the way that they do.

From previous posts, I'm sure by now you can see that I am about building up self-esteem and loving yourself, and you can probably figure out what exactly my feelings were towards the video. I sat in my seat watching, holding back tears because of what I heard coming from these students- I wanted to help so badly. Sitting in class, knowing that this is how a simple video about an exercise effected me tells me that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing, and I can't wait to be able to truly make a difference in at least one person's life.

Challenge Day

www.challengeday.org

Carrie Underwood - Wheel of the World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgPQQ1YnYAw

While we've got the chance to say.

I'm supposed to be working on my finals right now, but I haven't done any work or put any thought towards them since Friday night. Even though hard work and finals are the closings that happens every year, I feel like it is the wrong way to spend the last few days with the people that I have grown to love and have welcomed into my life, since I won't see them for a few months.

I have shared my feelings, gone on adventures, and learned so much about others, and most importantly myself this year. I don't want it to end. This year's ending is very bittersweet, more-so than last year, which in some ways surprises me. Last year I befriended many more people on my floor, and in general, but it's most likely because I have become closer to the people that I hung out with this year as opposed to the ones from the last. I honestly never expected to become attached as much as I have to the group of friends that I now hold close to my heart. It might sound sappy, but it's true.

I loved being able to spend time with everyone, do new things, and go new places. But, don't get me wrong, it's not just the things we did, it's largely due to the things we shared with each other that I loved to be a part of. This year has been so much fun and has changed me in a way that I didn't think it would. I feel stronger, and happier because of it, which is in itself a wonderful thing for me. As much as I want this school year to end, I wish that we could stay longer and have the goodbye-for-nows that we truly deserve to give to one-another, instead of giving half-goodbyes through distracting clouds of finals.

But sadly, this ending closes another chapter in my life, which will take up a large chunk of it's book. To everyone that I know and love, I hope you have an amazing summer, wherever life is taking you for it, and I am looking forward to seeing you in the fall.

Thank you for being a part of my life now, and in the future.

Lindsay.

Kris Allen - Live Like We're Dying

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbfeSImDntw

I just haven't met you yet.

Location, location, location.

We look for someone that we can grow old with, or even someone that we can see ourselves with for at least the night, but we are stuck with the people that surround us. What about the people that are not immediately around us; what about the people that we have never met before or will never meet? Our soul mates are picked out from the area that we live in, and we feel like this is the only person that will complete us or that will love us for this moment, but in reality, there are so many more people that would fit that same bill, but because we have never met them, we will never know.

Let's think about it. High school: my graduating class had about 600 students, give or take, with over 2,000 students in the entire school. This number is huge, but we were basically confined to only this many peers to pick from to date- actually only half this number since we would be talking about a person of the opposite or same sex. Forward to college. The pool has now grown to over 25,000 students. Now, we have more than twelve times as many people to pick from, but this is still not everyone in the world.

What keeps us from meeting the person that might actually be a better fit than "the one" that you are with now? A city, school, state, country, or even ocean. Even so, it could be the person down the block that you have never even seen. We feel like the people who surround us now are the only people that we have to pick from, but this isn't true. As we grow, we meet new people, are put in new situations, jobs, cities, and are given an entirely new set of people to choose from. We are not restricted to the people who are sitting next to us at the moment, so don't think that you are going to be alone, because someone you meet on a trip to the mall, or on a vacation that is three states over could be the person that you fall in love with.

Michael Buble - Haven't Met You Yet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA

Spring Break

Spring break brought me work in the form of the Spring Break day camp at the park district of my hometown. The entire camp only lasted five days (and I didn't even get to work during the day for two of them), but I noticed some things during the time that I got to spend there.

The campers.

With every camp, there are different kids; some of the smiling/crying/whining/angry faces are the same from the time before, while most are completely new. I usually work with the same age ranges: first thru sixth grade, making it easy to know how that group of kids reacts to certain things and how I can keep them under control. However, this time, we were told that there was a kid who was in a wheelchair- this was all we were told before he came in on the first day of camp.

When he came in the room, we found out that he also couldn't talk, didn't really have the use of his hands, and was on the "slower" side (for lack of a better term at the moment). He had a talker box that he would press buttons and it would speak for him, and a helper. As a society, at least for the most part, when we see people like this, we feel like it is easier to just do things for them, like pick up something that is across the table, or write a letter for them, but with this guy, it was a little different. He couldn't talk, walk, or perform simple tasks, so he was forced to be taken care of, but everyone who worked with him was so patient. This morning, after I parked my car in front of the building where the camp was held, before I was even able to get out, I noticed his mom taking him out of the car and putting him in his wheelchair. I could tell from the brief interaction I had with her the day before and now that his mom actually works with him, trying to make him stronger and teach him how to do things. Not only does his mom do this, but she is also very patient with him, and never did she make a face when she had to help him into his coat or when he refused to walk about four feet to his wheelchair (he could somewhat walk, but only when he was practically being carried at the same time). I saw this and wished that we could all have empathy and patience like hers, and if we had this, we would probably get more done, and learn more from others. The simplicity of letting him take his time, allow the other campers to understand him, and give him room to become involved on his own showed that doing this makes everything for that person more enjoyable and fulfilling than doing it for them.

Saying goodbye every time.

Since I'm a camp counselor during the summer and for the seasonal camps, I am used to having the children and the people that I work with walk into my life from a period of a few days to just a handful of weeks at a time, and then waving goodbye and not seeing them for half a year or longer. However, even though I am so used to this, it leaves me with an empty feeling inside each time I have to say goodbye; you are become friends with people, but only for a few hours at a time, and then you don't even think about them until you see them the next day. I like being able to have the people that I get along with become a part of my life, even if we would just FaceBook every once in a while- more than the measly eight weeks tops that I get to spend with them. The up side to this though, is that I get to meet so many different people, but nothing compares to being able to see these people later on down the road, recognize each other, and be able to have a decent conversation because you genuinely care about hearing the update from the other person. I miss the people that I've worked with, good and bad (sorta the bad), and even though I know I will most likely see them over the summer, I still feel that emptiness that comes with having to say goodbye to them after the eight weeks are up.

It's funny, because I sometimes complain that it is exhausting to be around the kids in the camp and have to put in as much energy as I do into the day, but when I think about it, I realize that I really like it. Would I give up spending my summer days with the campers? No, I get to act like a kid when I'm around them, and I feel like I fit in with that age group better than my own anyways. Would I change the people that I work with every day? No, we've become a family. We know each other's weaknesses and where to help each other out, and we know where each other excels, and who does what the best. The parts that I don't like are the temper tantrums and not seeing the children and peers that I worked with until a year later, or not even at all after that camp. However, I get to learn from the people I work with, the parents, and the children that make up the camp. With all this: the complaining, the energy, and things that I put up with throughout the day, would I change my job? I leave this with a resounding no, I wouldn't change it at all.